The Problem with Disconnecting

Most of us have had a moment where we recognize our internet usage is having a harmful effect on us, whether it be a reduction in your attention span, a decline in your mental health, or a sense of disconnection. In these moments, it is often tempting to try to fully disconnect, cut it out cold turkey and return to life without so much distraction. However for most of us this leads to an eventual relapse. Why?

"The internet isn't real life" is a commonly repeated phrase, encouraging people to not take the internet too seriously and maybe take a step back. It can also contribute to a sense that giving up social media is a feasible task, one that will not cause you any serious repercussion. Unfortunately for all of us, this is no longer true.

The Internet is Real Life Now

Our social landscape is increasingly digital. Events are arranged via Facebook or similar platforms, automatically excluding anyone without an account. Announcements about events are sent through e-mail or social media posts. Even our romantic lives are progressively being integrated into these platforms. One in ten Americans met their current partner through a dating app, with that ratio increasing to a staggering one in five for those under 30.

News and politics have increasingly moved online as well. Though journalists and political staff have used platforms such as Twitter for news gathering and discussion for at least a decade now, that is a far cry from the impact such platforms have today.

The richest man in the world and owner of X is now co-President of the United States. Not only that, but he seems to be a true believer of many far-right conspiracies and is governing as if they were true. On his orders, a young cadre of groypers are running roughshod through various US governmental systems, searching for imagined Marxism like we're in the McCarthy era. The worst corners of the internet have broken containment in ways most people could never have imagined a decade ago, and it is affecting the lives of every American, even if they are unplugged.

And this is all without even talking about the increasing share of the population who tie some of their income to social media. Small businesses need to advertise online as in-person shopping continues to decline. Artists of all stripes rely on social media to spread word about their work and to find clients. Certain industries which face legal discrimination, such as sex work, have nowhere else to turn. Even literature, an industry you'd expect to be the most disconnected from social media than most, is increasingly relying on "BookTok" for sales.

So What?

To return to our original question: why do people who step away from social media relapse? It is because it is not just dropping a bad habit; it is akin to a sort of monasticism. You are deliberately secluding yourself from a real part of the world with the goal of self-improvement.

For some, this may be a good and healthy path. But we must acknowledge that, for most, it isn't feasible, and for some, completely impossible.

So what do we do? How can we re-evaluate our relationship with the internet if it is so ingrained in the fabric of our society?

My answer? Intentional moderation.

You must structure your life in such a way that reduce the harms of these platforms, retain the benefits, and live more fully in the real world. Importantly, this needs to be more deliberate than just setting yourself time limits through a screen time app.

If enough of us do this, it may just help to reduce the control these platforms have over every aspect of our lives. If governments do not act to adjust this landscape, collective action is the only path forward.

I will be discussing my ideas for how exactly to do this soon, potentially in my next article. I will also be testing my method out on myself. If you want to hear about that, make sure to sign up for my newsletter!